Posts tagged batman.
Going to rewatch The Town soon. Although I don’t hate the Affleck casting, I’ll probably end up complaining that Hamm radiates Bruce/Batman more than Benaffleck but I’m still going to be openminded.
It’s SO HARD to let my fancasting go. Holy crap.
Me too, Benaffleck. Me too.
Memento & The Dark Knight Rises note:
Christ Nolan told Tom Lennon that the Doctor he played in both films is the same doctor.
Happy Birthday, Christopher Nolan!
FUCK!!!! They’re announcing this at the WB panel @ SDCC today.
Down the Bat-Pole
QUESTION, Mr. Black:
Ok, so inspired by this weeks question about X-men’s penises, I’m wondering about Batman’s sexual prowess. Sure, the canon material mentions he had relationships with few of the usual Bat-world suspects like Selina Kyle, and Vicky Vale, but I’m wondering how good is he actually in bed. Is he the dark stallion, or a bat-fart.
The way I see it, things can go two ways - very bad: since he’s so obsessed with vengeance/guilt/need for justice/plain ol’ sadism, he’s too focused on the dark side of life/human emotions to have much knowledge and experience in casually dating and fucking department (In his formative years did he go to booze-fest sorority-parties? No, he meditated on some god-forsaken mountain peak and brooded!).
So that means he could be actually pretty incompetent when it’s time for hanky-panky, and, consecutively, all of his hanger-on babes could actually mean even less than assumed to him, and are actually more or less subtly manipulated just to acknowlege he slept with all of them to keep on the appearance of him being a confident playboy.
Not so bad: He focuses all the lust, need for love he never had and/or never can have and of course his vast agility into incredible magic in bed. He picks them by the hundreds, goes on banging the living daylight out of them and they most probably feel like they wresseled Killer Crock for 12 rounds afterwards, but it was one of the most overall extreme physical exercises they’ll experience in their whole life.
The downside is that he does it mechanically, animalistic. His dick is so powerful like there’s a green Power ring around it, but his eyes are still those of sad and lost 10y.o. boy. Which can also make problems with real, true love interests.
First of all, thank you, because I will never get the image of Bruce Wayne ragefucking some poor debutante while his eyes pool with tears at the eternal pain at having lost his parents as a child. I may never be able to read a Batman comic again.
But that doesn’t mean I can’t answer the question. I assume Bruce has to do some sexy times to maintain his reputataion, although it’s certainly way less than the public believes. But if he never had sex with the candy draped around his arm, eventually someone would figure it out, and Bruce’s cover would be blown. So Batman has a vested interest in banging skanks, is what I’m saying.
As for his skill level? Well, since the defining characteristic of the modern Batman is that he’s prepared for any eventuality, this means he has prepared for a situation that he literally has to fuck his way out of. At some point — unlikely as it may sound — Batman’s sexual technique may be the thing that saves his life, so I imagine Batman is ready to pull some mindblowing tantric craziness. Obviously, I think Batman would try to avoid this situation as much as possible — if he had the chance, he’d start to seduce someone, but then render them unconscious — but if his penis is the only thing standing between him and the destruction of Gotham City, he’s ready.
And a note on Batman’s penis, which I thought of last week and feel compelled to share with you — I don’t think it’s the biggest penis out there, just like Batman’s not the biggest, strongest dude. Batman’s body is the human body at its maximum physical potential, which means his penis is at the maximum potential, too. Which isn’t entirely about size, but also concerns girth and shape. It can’t be too big, because that could hurt some folk, plus it would probably get in the way of his crimefighting. There’s some perfect size ratio out there for providing maximum sexual pleasure to the greatest amount of people, and that’s where Batman’s penis is at. Now someone ask me about Superman’s dick.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt on Christopher Nolan and the similarity between Bruce Wayne and John Blake.
The young actor plays John Blake, a Gotham City police officer who proves his mettle to Commissioner Gordon and becomes one of his most trusted allies. He also shares a connection to Bruce Wayne in that he, like Bruce, is an orphan.
“He looks up to him because of that,” Gordon-Levitt says. “I can understand wanting to find that commonality with somebody. I think that’s one of the many things that really distinguishes the way Chris approaches these movies. Ultimately, what he’s concerned with is well-rounded, nuanced, honest human characters. And that’s the case whether you are talking about Bruce Wayne or my character, John Blake. They feel like human beings, and, as an actor, that’s inspiring. Chris is really an actor’s director and even amidst all the spectacle and all this huge production value, he always prioritizes getting a real honest performance from his actors. And that’s obviously a lot more fun for me.”
This almost killed me with its perfection.
BUT THEY CAN’T HEAR ANYTHING THAT YOU’RE SAYING, CHRIS.
The Tom Hardy Effect: Where Tom Hardy’s perfection is enough to leave you near-death in a ditch somewhere.
obama was elected the same year the dark knight was released
obama was re-elected the same year the dark knight rises was released…
could it be?
Now this evil… rises. The Batman has to come back.